Humor
Posted: 03/01/2010
Tucker, the Scottish Calculator
We all know that Scotsmen know how to count.
But, did you know that Scottish terriers know how to count too??
You can readily test this theory any time.
Put four dog bone treats, or any treat for that matter, in your jacket pocket. Give three of them to your Scottie.
Hang your jacket on the back of your kitchen chair. Walk away for a few minutes. When you return to the kitchen, you will find your jacket on the floor minus the one remaining treat.
I have so many jackets with holes in the pocket. Tucker is a master at removing any treat from any piece of clothing.
Our Scotties, they are brilliant!!
Let Tucker Know What You Think!!
Send Your Comments to Tucker
Posted: 12/11/2007
Tucker's 2008 Wish List
Tucker’s 2008 Wish List
1.) More time with Paul & Pat. They both work so hard.
2.) An opportunity to catch a squirrel each day.
3.) More cats to chase in the neighborhood.
4.) Bigger and louder squeaky toys to rip to smithereens.
5.) The opportunity to ride in a big, red fire truck.
6.) A strict ban on walks in the rain.
7.) More of Pat’s home cooked meals.
8.) More Thomas’ English muffins.
9.) A new ball to chase.
10.) More tummy rubs.
Posted: 12/09/2007
Tucker's Muffin Attack
If you are owned by a Scottish terrier, you understand that each and every day is both an adventure and challenge. Expect the unexpected, because it will happen.
Well, our Sunday began as most do. After finishing his morning meal, Tucker took me our for my first walk, after which I go to the grocery store to get his groceries.
Pat always gives me a list of things to pick up for Tucker - organic carrots, brown rice, organic eggs, marrow bones and ground beef. On the list are a couple of things for us - ginger ale, Thomas' Whole Wheat English Muffins and orange juice.
Tucker is always waiting for me on the porch when I return from the store. He is especially eager to try a new marrow bone and, just to be sure that I understand that he starts his Aaaaarrrrroooooooo as soon as I start unpacking the groceries. This is a genuine highlight for him. As soon as I give the bone to Tucker, he takes it to the dining room where he begins sampling its delights.
Tucker has me trained to call him back into the kitchen by employing the word "treat." He immediately strolls into the kitchen, drops the bone at my feet, and sits awaiting his organic treats. This routine is rigidly adhered to each day.
Following this event, both Pat and I started packing the merchandise that had been ordered from the previous day. Following that, Pat was in the home office printing the shipping labels from the USPS Website, and I was in the basement looking for a shipping box.
When I returned to the kitchen, I found Tucker doing something that he had never done before. He was eating all of the Thomas' English Muffins. I had left some of the grocery bags, as I normally do on the floor.
Tucker usually leaves then alone. As long as he gets his marrow bone, he is in a state of contentment. But, not this time. So today, Tucker had his cholesterol free, high fiber, 0 trans fat, low fat, 100% whole wheat muffins for the first time ever.
I am not sure if Thomas' would accept a product endorsement from Tucker, since he is a Scottish terrier, but based on his initial tasting, I would say that he is pleased with the product and, if ever the opportunity for another tasting should arise, I am certain that Tucker would leap at the chance.
Always be on your toes. There is a surprise in a Scotties every day. Enjoy it. They are treasures.
Posted: 11/24/2007
Tucker's Questions for the Candidates
Before we know it, the presidential candidates for the Democratic and Republican Parties will be chosen. Will 2008 be a "Happy New Year" or will it present the American people with perplexing and incomprehensible choices between the best "pixels and sound bytes?"
Well, ladies and gentlemen, before things turn into a political circus where there is no ringmaster, and the process has been turned over to the most outlandish political animals, Tucker has a list of questions that each candidate must answer.
Here are Tucker's questions:
1.) What role will the U.S. Dollar play as an international currency in the future?
2.) Do you favor lower interest rates by the Federal Reserve during 2008?
3.) Will you lower taxes?
4.) How will you avoid a recession?
5.) Will you reinstall the draft?
6.) Which is the greater threat to our economy – the federal deficit, or the possibility of a recession?
7.) How high does the cost of health insurance have to go before you do something about it?
8.) How will other nations view America under your leadership?
9.) What is your time frame for withdrawing all American troops from Iraq?
10.) How high do gas prices have to go before something is done about it?
Are you like Tucker? Do you want answers to serious questions? Or, are you satisfied to vote for the candidate who "feels warm and fuzzy?"
If you are inclined to vote for the "warm and fuzzy" candidate, then Tucker deserves your vote. Not only is he "warm and fuzzy," he is also capable of answering each of these questions with articulate, thoughtful, practical and compelling responses.
Who among the current crop of candidates is capable of matching Tucker?
Posted: 10/19/2007
Tucker's Top 10 List of Things that Bother Him
10.) Houseflies that attack my food.
9.) Big dog's that think they are bigger than me.
8.) Young children who run towards me with their arms and hands flapping in the air.
7.) Obedience class. I march to the beat of Scottish drums.
6.) Anything mediocre. I will have only the very best.
5.) People who think they are smarter than me. Boy have they got it all wrong.
4.) People who do not like Scottish terriers. What planet are they from?
3.) Politicians who will not protect dogs from the cruelty of human beings.
2.) Veterinarians who do not have a clue?
1.) Dog show judges who do not realize that all Scottish terriers are champions.
Posted: 09/29/2007
Tucker as Governor
Scottish terriers are political animals. They hang out with presidents and heads of state. They are used to the exercise of power, and the corruption that sometimes comes with it.
Our dignified, humorous and graceful Scottish terrier, Tucker, has his mind made up that he will become the next Governor of Massachusetts. He has given careful thought to the major issues facing the citizens of the Commonwealth.
If elected governor, here are some of the things that Tucker would do immediately:
1.) Get rid of the current Cadillac limousine and replace it a new Scottish red plaid collar and lead.
2.) Abolish the state employee pension system and give all citizens of the Commonwealth a tax refund of $10,000 each.
3.) Move the State House to Springfield, and replace the bag men, pocket stuffers and gamers with Scottish terriers.
4.) Abolish the Massachusetts lottery system and replace it with bingo barking nights at the Governor's mansion.
5.) Consolidate the state's 21 "independent agencies" into one publicly accountable body that reports directly to the governor.
6.) Limit the number of days that state employees can work to 100, and reduce their salaries by 50% and abolish all overtime pay.
7.) Put a freeze on public school construction and remodeling, and set-up a $1 billion building fund for charter schools.
8.) Replace all state judges with savvy, tough Scottish terriers that are determined to get the criminals off the streets of the Commonwealth.
9.) Increase the price of gasoline to $6.00 per gallon, and invest the difference in infrastructure improvements and mass transportation.
10.) Get government out of lives of the citizens, and enable them to pursue life, liberty and happiness.
To cast your vote for Governor Tucker, submit your comment below!
Posted: 09/28/2007
Tucker's Plato Moment
Confident, curious, demanding, eager, insistent, loyal and clever. Each of these attributes apply to Tucker, our cherished Scottish terrier.
On many days, you can look at Tucker and be fairly certain that he is having a philosophical moment. In the picture above, I captured him in one of those moments.
If he could speak, he would offer you the following quotation from Plato:
"A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men."
Where are the men of accomplishment? Where have they gone?
If you know where they are hiding, please let Tucker and me know.
Posted: 09/22/2007
Tucker's IQ
I remember when I was young, my parents wanted to find out how "smart" I was. I do not remember how many IQ tests I was subjected to, but there were many.
I do not need to subject Tucker, our Scottish terrier, to an "intelligence test" because I have known from the beginning that he is far smarter than any human being, and absolutely superior to any "smarts" I might have accidentally acquired.
Here is the proof of Tucker's superiority and the intelligence of the Scottish terrier breed. "The average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history has been about 200 years." The history of the Scottish terrier breed dates from 1436. These little, feisty, clever critters have easily outlasted all of man's collective efforts to remain intact.
So, how smart and clever are Scotties? Well, there are simple tests that you can perform with your benevolent dictator. He are a couple:
Dog IQ Test.
Test Your Pet.
How Smart is Your Pet?
If you try these tests, have fun with them. However, do not be deceived into believing that you are actually measuring your Scottie's intelligence. It truly is the opposite. Your Scottie is measuring you.
Scotties are BRILLIANT!
Comments: (Add Comment)Comments:
Posted on 11/29/2007 by Unce J
This does not apply to scotties:
"If the dog is like Odin, knocks the can over and gets the titbit in 5 seconds or less."
More like:
"If the dog is Scottish, it may choose to sit still instead of eating your cheap snacks."
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Posted: 09/20/2007
Tucker's Holiday List
Tucker says it is never too early to think about holiday gifts. Of course, he thinks everyday is a holiday. Despite being surrounded everyday by an array of treats, baked bones and cookies, toys and accessories, Tucker is quite remarkably unmaterialistic.
Please do not misunderstand Mr. Tucker, our Scottish terrier, he would never turn down anything new, especially if it had a delicious taste, but if he had his choice, and he almost always does, he are some of his all-time favorite gifts:
1.) A half-day off-leash romp and stroll through the woods.
2.) A new rescued sister or brother Scottie soul mate.
3.) Ten minutes of belly rubbin' six times each day.
4.) A bunch of squirrels to harass.
5.) A large sack of Liver Star Cookies.
6.) Lots of creature and canine visitors from Scotland.
7.) Two weeks off from work.
8.) A marrow bone each day.
9.) A starring role in a movie about Scottish terriers.
10.) A trip to Greyfriars Kirkyard in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Once a Scotsman, always a Scotsman. Scotties are forever. Tucker is for even longer!
Posted: 08/30/2007
Tucker and Trouble
First of all, Tucker is no trouble what-so-ever. He is a perfect gentleman and companion. He follows me everywhere, and is my constant guardian.
There is no doubt in my mind that he would do anything for me. So again, trouble he is not.
However, a dog named Trouble is causing a lot of trouble. Helmsley's Dog Get $12 Million in Will. Apparently Trouble has a habit of biting. She has been know to bite security guards, bodyguards, customers, etc. It is no small wonder that the New York City Animal Control authorities did not come to take Trouble to the Jail House.
I wonder what Tucker would do with $12 million. I have the feeling that he would donate it all to the Scottie rescue Program. After all, he does not need the money. He is set for life. He cares for other Scotties, and goes through life without making trouble for anyone.
What a great dog he is. He is the best of the best!
Posted: 08/28/2007
Tucker's Thoughts
Here are a few of Tucker's thoughts for today.
1.) "You will be remembered for the rules you broke, not the ones you didn't."
2.) "Scotties never quit."
3.) "Never retreat from a challenge. Begin the advance in any direction, but advance one must."
4.) "No Scottie is entitled to freedom unless he is vigilant in its preservation."
5.) "A Scottie free to choose will always choose food."
6.) "All great Scottie days begin at the breakfast bowl."
7.) "How can a Scottie not be an actor? We are born stars"
8.) "Life is one grand, succulent meal, so begin the feast."
9.) "Scotties do not make wars, people do."
10.) "Trust, but be wary."
11.) "Fighting settles nothing."
Tucker seems to have had a rather thoughtful day thus far. I hope he has provoked you to thought and thoughtfulness.
Posted: 08/16/2007
Tucker's Quote of the Day
Every now and again, Tucker will turn to me with the stare of a Scottish terrier in deep philosophical machinations. Today being one of those many mystical days where I get to translate Scottie barks and howls into English.
So, brace yourself for a profound sense of being based upon Tucker's thought for today.
"Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect, but of all Scottie contemplations the most abhorrent is body without mind."
Posted: 08/14/2007
Tucker's Update on the Tomato Plant Terrorist
I have installed a video camera at our store focused on the tomato plant. This allows me to observe 24/7 any attempts to attack the plant.
Under my leadership and direction, a Scottie Rapid Response (SRR) Team has been formed to scamper to the crime scene at a moments notice. The unit, the first of its kind anywhere in the world, consists of 6 members, each carrying 42 of the sharpest teeth known to man, can quickly bring a combined arsenal of 252 Scottish teeth to bear on any terrorist approaching Vinny's tomato plant.
I have ruled out the possibility of foreign born terrorists as suspects. They seem to be quite busy in other parts of the world. It is much more likely that we are facing a "home grown" terrorist. If the terrorist is inclined to re-visit the crime scene, he won't have a chance of escaping.
The trap has been set. The tomato's are ripening. The weather is cooperating. The SRR Team is on full alert.
The Scottie six-pack will put an end to the tomato terrorist once and for all.
Comments: (Add Comment)Comments:
Posted on 08/15/2007 by Jericho
Scotland Yard has nothin' on The SRR Team! Go Tucker!
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Posted: 08/08/2007
Tucker's Pursuit of the Tomato Terrorist
Tucker relentlessly continues his stalk and search approach to the "stolen tomatoes caper." He believes that he is very close to solving the crime and single-handedly capturing the tomato terrorist.
Knowing the single-minded determination of Scottish terriers, there is no doubt what-so-ever that Tucker will succeed.
The real question is what the thief will do when cornered and captured by Tucker. Well, in order to ensure that the rights of the criminal are protected in this unusual case, there are certain things that this thief Should and Should Not Do if captured by a Scottish terrier.
1.) Don't Bark, Whimper or Whine.
Do not attempt to convince Tucker that you are innocent. He will have none of that nonsense.
2.) Don't Run and Don't Resist Entrapment.
If Tucker has to run you down, he will be much less forgiving than if you stood in place and did not resist capture.
3.) Believe Everything Tucker Barks at You.
Do everything inferred by Tucker. If he gives you the Scottie nudge and howl, just follow alone peacefully.
4.) Allow Searching
Allow Tucker to search everywhere. You will not be asked anyway.
5.) Do Not Stare at the Tomato Plant
Tucker is trained to watch you and react to your every move, stare and glance.
6.) Do Not Attempt to Jive Tucker.
Even if you think you are related to the King of Scotland, keep it to yourself. Tucker is most unforgiving in situations such as this. Scotties are serious animals, and do not have time for nonsense.
7.) Stay Silent.
Once captured, your fate is in the paws of a jury of Scots. Tucker, the arresting Scottie, will not listen to your gripes. You will have ample opportunity to bark, whimper or whine to the jury who will decide your fate.
Tucker will not quit this case until justice is served. Tomato terrorists are dastardly creatures.
Posted: 08/07/2007
Tucker's Tomato Plant
Tucker's friend, Vinny, planted tomato's on our outdoor patio several weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago, Vinny said that some kind of animal had started to eat the tomato's.
Vinny was quite upset with this revolting development. Could it have been a squirrel looking for something to munch on? Might it have been a dog or cat? Was it a rabbit?
And so the mystery began. Currently, there are no suspects. The evidence is in the form of 2 half eaten small green tomato's. The motive is fairly clear - the need for nourishment.
Vinny suggested that we have Tucker regularly patrol the area around the plant in an attempt to deter the tomato terrorist. This remedy seems to have worked well. No further damage to the plant has occurred since Tucker was put in charge of its security.
Tucker's approach to guarding the plant is quite direct. He interrogates every creature in the surrounding area. Any and all suspects are immediately taken to Tucker's crate located in the basement. There they are forced to deal with a determined Scottish interrogator.
Although Tucker has yet to solve the crime, the word around the neighborhood is..."Don't mess with Tucker's tomato's."
Comments: (Add Comment)Comments:
Posted on 08/07/2007 by Ellen in Texas
I also thought I had a squirrel eating my RIPE tomatos. Wrong! My Scotties were eating the tomatos on the lower branches!!
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Posted: 08/01/2007
Tucker and Mike
Earlier today, Tucker, the king of scots and Principal in Scottie Protection Services, was contacted by an assistant of Michael Chertoff, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). Apparently Mr. Chertoff had read Tucker's blog entry yesterday about his possible interest in a TSA Screeners position, and would like to set up a meeting to discuss this challenging opportunity.
Tucker, always interested in meeting people, indicated that he would be open to a frank and open exchange of views on the issue of airport and national security matters. Tucker, however, insisted that any such meeting take place at the Scottie Connection store. After all, he is the General Mana-Paw of the store, and is responsible for it's overall success. Travelling to Washington for such a meeting would represent a "business hardship" for Tucker.
Following several hours of silence, Mr. Chertoff's office accepted Tucker's terms, and agreed to travel to the Boston area for the meeting.
In trying to find the ideal security personnel for America's airports, the Department of Homeland Security and the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) have conducted joint studies into the Temperment of Scottish Terriers.
These studies have concluded..."The Scottish Terrier is ever alert and spirited but also stable and well grounded. He is a determined and thoughtful warrior whose 'heads up, tails up' attitude always conveys both fire and control. The Scottish Terrier, while loving and gentle with people, can be aggressive with terrorists." These traits are highly sought after by both DHS and TSA.
Tucker's whole approach to airport security is very basic and simple - "terrorize the terrorists." In his mind, this is easily accomplished. Can you imaging any terrorist getting through any American airport that was guarded by a pack of Rescue Scotties? I hardly think so.
Tucker also suggests putting a Rescue Scottie on every international flight entering the United States. Before the flight landed in the United States, the Scottie would have the would be terrorist traumatized to such a degree that he would be ready to return to the sand dunes of the desert immediately.
Tucker has so many counter-terrorism ideas to share with Mr. Chertoff during their upcoming meeting. Putting a varmint within sniffing distance of a Scottish terrier is akin to putting a large piece of beef in front of a tiger.
Both would be swallowed up and vanish immediately. Isn't this the real way to fight the terrorists?
Good luck Mr. Chertoff. You will learn a lot from Tucker. Scotties are forever shaping the world into a better place.
Posted: 07/31/2007
Tucker as the Nation's Security Officer
Imagine the U.S. Transport Security Administration seeking to hire Scottish terriers to protect the nation's air travelers, airports and aircraft. Well, Tucker, the king of scots, thinks that Scotties are ideally qualified for the position of Transport Security Officer (Screener).
The job requires..."Continuously and effectively interact with the public, giving directions and responding to inquiries in a reasonable tone and manner." Scotties are always giving directions and orders to the public. Their instructions are always very specific, leaving out any chance for misunderstanding or error.
The screeners job also requires the screener to..."Maintain focus and awareness within an environment containing numerous distractions, people, and noise." No worry here. Scotties are very serious and focused on everything they do. Give a Scottie something rewarding to do, and they will accomplish the task no matter the frequency of distractions.
Additionally the job requires the screener to..."Make effective decisions in both crisis and routine situations." Scotties are adept at reducing a crisis situation within a barking second. One Scottie bark will make everyone stop in their tracks.
Remember, Scotties were bred to hunt and kill rats. They are ideally suited for the screeners job. Long before the terrorist or oddball approached the screening area, the Scotties would have him surrounded and summarily arrested on the spot.
Anyone who has ever been owned by a Scottie knows that you never feel unprotected. Scottie Protection Services are world renowned. Scotties are the world's greatest security blankets.
Put a Scottie in charge of the security of any airport, and the government will never again have to worry about its vulnerability to a terrorist attack.
Tucker says..."The TSA should enlist the help of Scottish terriers in the War on Terrorism. Their hundreds of years worth of experience in property protection will keep America's airports terrorist-free."
Once again, Scotties to the rescue. Terrorists BEWARE!
Posted: 07/27/2007
Do I Look Like an Earthdog?
No! Thank you. Of course not, I am a Scottish terrier, and a rather dapper one to paw. Well, when I was a very young lad, Pat and Paul loaded me into the car for a drive to Harwinton, CT to participate in an Earthdog Trial.
It took us a couple of hours to arrive at a big open field in the middle of nowhere. At first, I thought this would be fun. Big open field. Lots of grass and trees. I could run back and forth across the field, "fetching" the ball thrown by Paul. And, for a while, I did have fun.
According to the American Kennel Club..."earthdog tests allow"...people owned by terriers..."to test their natural aptitude and trained hunting and working behaviors when exposed to an underground hunting situation."
Well, I became suspicious when "John" came over and started uncovering a series of underground wooden tunnels. John also had a few small cages containing quarry.
Paul introduced me to John who immediately set the quarry cage directly in front of me, and dragged it toward the entrance of a dark tunnel. John told Paul that he expected me to exhibit aggression toward the caged rat by growling, digging or biting the cage.
I decided to have none of this. The poor rat did not smell very appetizing. Plus, the poor thing was scared to death. Furthermore, I was used to eating raw and cooked meat and vegetables. Why would I be tempted by a foul smelling rat?
John was actually surprised that I did not actively participate in this "how to smell a rat game." Oh, I could certainly smell a rat, it was John.
John did not stop there. He asked Paul to walk me over to one of the tunnels. John then shoved me inside this damp, dark, dreary tunnel. John went and put the rat cage at the end of the tunnel. Paul then started calling me, and encouraging me to crawl to the end of the tunnel.
I would have none of this nonsense. I did not move an inch, neither forward nor backward. After a few minutes of this, John lifted the cover off of the tunnel, and Paul took me out of it. I overheard John tell Paul that..."Tucker will soon get the hang of it."
I kept my snout shut, but said to myself..."No way!" I know people love sporting events - baseball, golf, football, etc. They certainly spend a lot of money on attending these games. I guess those same people think that their "fur children" are as equally passionate about sporting events.
Not true! I was happy to play in the big field, and run all over the place. Once John and Paul wanted to regulate my behavior, I would have none of it.
An earthdog I am not. Not then. Not now. Not ever.
From that day to present, I have spent my time training humans, Paul and Pat in particular, to respond to my every wish and desire. By and large I have succeeded in that endeavor and, as a result, I am the Greatest Earthdog on the Planet.
Comments: (Add Comment)Comments:
Posted on 07/28/2007 by Cathy (Jericho's mom)
So John thought he could get a Scottish terrier to do what HE (John) wanted the noble Scot to do? Foolish human! Tucker Rules!!!
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Posted: 07/26/2007
Tucker's Throne
According to Wikipedia "a throne is the official chair or seat upon which a monarch is seated on state and ceremonial occasions." Since ancient times, thrones have been associated with royal power.
In addition to state and ceremonial occasions, Tucker, being the royal with all of the power in the family, occupies his throne on a virtual basis. In his view, thrones are not just for special occasions, they are for everyday use as well.
Like anyone who acquires power, Tucker is very reluctant to give it up. However, unlike man, Tucker is neither blinded by ambition nor power. He is a very wise Scotsman. He does not seek to rule either mankind or the world.
His interests are far more basic. He rules his own pawdome. He is both ruler and subject. He does not seek to expand his territory. He is content to live within his own established boundaries. He will protect his turf, but will not attack that of another's.
However, he will fiercely fight to protect his family and his territory. Tucker's turf battles are all self-financed. He does not ask of others what he will not do for himself.
Scotties are the great kings of the earth. They rule seriously, beneficially, happily, comedically, pleasurably, enjoyably, helpfully, and usefully.
Tucker, our Scottish terrier, he rocks and rules!!
Posted: 07/24/2007
Tucker's Nap
Even Scotties need to relax every now and again. Tucker, in particular, insists on taking several "beauty rests" each day.
He does so for several reasons. Tucker argues that the more sleep he gets, the more healthy he will be. He says..."Stress and overwork leaves me tired and lackluster."
In fact, here are Tucker's sleepy thoughts:
- He stresses the importance of at least 20 hours of sleep each day. Its good for his health and helps produce clear, brilliant thoughts.
- Deep, uninterrupted sleep and meditation allow his body to rest and repair. This is very important because Scotties, and Tucker in particular, do more in four hours of non-sleep than humans do in 16 hours.
- Deep sleep promotes antibody production and stimulates his immune system.
- Relaxation also reduces his blood pressure.
Tucker is also a big fan of transcendental meditation. The picture above captures Tucker in a transcendental moment, of which he has many. Tucker says that these moments increase cerebral blood flow thus giving him the capacity to outsmart felines, other canines and humans.
Tucker, once again, proves to be one step ahead of everyone!
Posted: 07/19/2007
Tucker's Perks
There are many benefits to being Tucker, our world famous Scottie. First and foremost, his Scottish ancestry is a true benefit.
Scotties are all about business which in Tuckers case is the "hunt and chase." Without the ultimate pursuit of happiness what is left to life.
Tucker, the ultra special Scottie that he is, has many perks, here are some of them:
Perk #10: While other dogs at the park are happy to socialize among themselves, Tucker is off chasing the squirrels.
Perk #9: Tucker gets a 100% discount off any dog bone or treat he chooses in his own store.
Perk #8: Gets to eat organic dog food anytime he chooses.
Perk #7: Gets to personally test the "dogworthiness" of all toys sold in his store.
Perk #6: Tucker is one of a very few dogs, especially Scotties, around the world that has his own blog.
Perk #5: Gets to take a nap in the store anytime he wishes.
Perk #4: Gets to say anything he wants to anyone, anytime, for any reason.
Perk #3: Gets as much love and attention as he wants.
Perk #2: Gives little love and attention to other dogs.
Perk #1: Gets to ignore the frailties of the human race.
Posted: 07/18/2007
Tucker's Rules
Tucker, our Scottish terrier, seems to have many self-made rules that appear to govern his actions, especially when he sees something he wants.
He does not seem to distinguish between "wanting" and "needing" something. Neither does he seem burdened with financial considerations. Although he has no income, he will go after anything he likes, no matter what it's cost.
Here are a few of Tucker's rules that he lives by each day. Being a Scottie, stubborn adherence to behavioral rules is the key to success and happiness.
Rule #1: "If I see what I like, want or need anywhere or anytime, you can bet the house that I am going to get it."
Rule #2: "If you see something in my mouth, you should forget about trying to take it from me."
Rule #3: "If you have something that I want, you can either give it to me, or be ready for a Scottie shakedown."
Rule #4: "If I had something a while ago, it was because I liked it and, therefore, you can be sure that I want another one just like it."
Rule #5: "If you know that something belongs to me, it would be wise if neither you nor anyone else thought about taking it from me."
Rule #6: "If you see me chewing something, and pieces of it fall onto the floor, you and others would be wise to leave me and everything else alone."
Rule #7: "If you see something that appears to be mine, or is a prime candidate for immediate possession, it's mine so forget about it."
Rule #8: "If I see something first, it belongs to me. However, if you see something before I do, it still belongs to me."
Rule #9: "If you have something and put it down, it automatically becomes my possession."
Rule #10: "If you have something that I don't want, it's yours."
These are the kind of rules that are grounded in the nooks and crannies of the harsh Scottish Highlands. I see these rules applied many times each day.
I have come to accept them. What alternative do I really have here. Once Scotties and Tucker in particular "rock and rule!"
| About the Author:
Paul McCarthy, entrepreneur, is owned by Tucker, a 12-year old Scottish terrier, whose paw prints, ideas and thoughts appear everywhere.
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